What on Earth were the Wachowski brothers smoking? That's pretty much all I could think about after seeing Speed Racer, a film that blows its wad over CGI (the film's budget was $120 million), and yet feels so spectacularly cheap. Despite its dazzling visual assault and actors' brave (but thankless) performances, the movie is essentially a two hour Hot Wheels commercial.
Perhaps I'm not the right person to review this movie, though I'd like to think so. The movie clearly looks to embody and honor the campy spirit of its anime origins (and I appreciate anime as much as the next guy). The Japanese cartoon series which the film is based on may not have been Shakespeare, but it (along with Astro Boy and the Super Robots such as Voltes V and Mazinger Z) was influential in helping anime reach a global audience.
Its story revolves around its lead character of the same name. Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch), as you may have guessed, is a young race car driver with an uncanny talent for his sport and unmistakable loyalty to his family (The Racers) who live, breathe, and genuinely love auto racing. Speed is also driven by the haunting circumstances of the apparent death of his older brother and hero Rex (Scott Porter), who broke away from the Racer family over mysterious reasons.
After winning a major race in dominating fashion, Speed's skills are courted by Royalton (Roger Allam), a tycoon whose plans involve more than just winning races. When Speed turns Royalton down, a series of events take place involving corporate intrigue, hired thugs, a mysterious Racer X (Matthew Fox), and of course, outrageous racing, of which "outrageous" is too kind a word.
Well into Speed's first race, it is clear that Larry and Andy Wachowski have no intention of staging any plausible action scenes. Every car chase, though richly detailed and color saturated, is cartoonish. Automobiles flip, somersault, attack, defend, skid, spin, and ricochet in ways that would make Einstein toss his papers into the air. Their weapons seem to begin where James Bond's Q would simply give up. Racetracks are almost Escheresque in their loops and curves, inspiring drifts that would make Ridge Racer fans smile.
If the Wachowskis aimed to thrill us with these races (which I believe in part they did), they crashed and burned. With each widly unrealistic sequence, any semblance of believability is completely lost. If these cars can pretty much do anything to escape danger, then were is the risk? Characters can't get hurt while their cars are hurtling into chasms, up mountainsides, or into each other, so why should we care? There's nothing at stake, except our interest.
It's not just the racing sequences that fail. Much of the special effects in this movie are disastrously applied, by having the imagery purposely lack as much depth as the story. Imagine Spielberg's Rogue City (in A.I. Artificial Intelligence) projected in two dimensions; static when viewed at any angle. Then place the movie's three-dimensional characters moving in the foreground. It's a method so astonishingly bad that it couldn't possibly be a miscalculation.
Speaking of characters, the film's cast gives a good go at their roles. But they're all trapped in parts so one-dimensional, that the film wastes their time as well as ours. Roger Allam (the most memorable villain in the Wachowski-produced V for Vendetta) gives a deliciously good go at it, pretty much channeling Tim Curry.
But If there is any reason to see the film, it's Emile Hirsch (who was robbed last year of an Oscar nomination for Sean Penn's Into The Wild). The kid is a natural, able to convey freshness and naivete better than any of his male peers. It's his performance that gives this review the additional star which the film doesn't deserve.
A part of me wants to give credit to the Wachowski brothers for sticking with their film's loopy vision. Maybe they really felt they were doing the anime series right by filming it in its shiny tackiness. But when you've made a film that is an influential as The Matrix, much is to be expected of you. And Speed Racer, despite its devotion to eye candy, is nothing but a display of glorious professional amateurism, and worse, a bore.
Its story revolves around its lead character of the same name. Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch), as you may have guessed, is a young race car driver with an uncanny talent for his sport and unmistakable loyalty to his family (The Racers) who live, breathe, and genuinely love auto racing. Speed is also driven by the haunting circumstances of the apparent death of his older brother and hero Rex (Scott Porter), who broke away from the Racer family over mysterious reasons.
After winning a major race in dominating fashion, Speed's skills are courted by Royalton (Roger Allam), a tycoon whose plans involve more than just winning races. When Speed turns Royalton down, a series of events take place involving corporate intrigue, hired thugs, a mysterious Racer X (Matthew Fox), and of course, outrageous racing, of which "outrageous" is too kind a word.
Well into Speed's first race, it is clear that Larry and Andy Wachowski have no intention of staging any plausible action scenes. Every car chase, though richly detailed and color saturated, is cartoonish. Automobiles flip, somersault, attack, defend, skid, spin, and ricochet in ways that would make Einstein toss his papers into the air. Their weapons seem to begin where James Bond's Q would simply give up. Racetracks are almost Escheresque in their loops and curves, inspiring drifts that would make Ridge Racer fans smile.
If the Wachowskis aimed to thrill us with these races (which I believe in part they did), they crashed and burned. With each widly unrealistic sequence, any semblance of believability is completely lost. If these cars can pretty much do anything to escape danger, then were is the risk? Characters can't get hurt while their cars are hurtling into chasms, up mountainsides, or into each other, so why should we care? There's nothing at stake, except our interest.
It's not just the racing sequences that fail. Much of the special effects in this movie are disastrously applied, by having the imagery purposely lack as much depth as the story. Imagine Spielberg's Rogue City (in A.I. Artificial Intelligence) projected in two dimensions; static when viewed at any angle. Then place the movie's three-dimensional characters moving in the foreground. It's a method so astonishingly bad that it couldn't possibly be a miscalculation.
Speaking of characters, the film's cast gives a good go at their roles. But they're all trapped in parts so one-dimensional, that the film wastes their time as well as ours. Roger Allam (the most memorable villain in the Wachowski-produced V for Vendetta) gives a deliciously good go at it, pretty much channeling Tim Curry.
But If there is any reason to see the film, it's Emile Hirsch (who was robbed last year of an Oscar nomination for Sean Penn's Into The Wild). The kid is a natural, able to convey freshness and naivete better than any of his male peers. It's his performance that gives this review the additional star which the film doesn't deserve.
A part of me wants to give credit to the Wachowski brothers for sticking with their film's loopy vision. Maybe they really felt they were doing the anime series right by filming it in its shiny tackiness. But when you've made a film that is an influential as The Matrix, much is to be expected of you. And Speed Racer, despite its devotion to eye candy, is nothing but a display of glorious professional amateurism, and worse, a bore.
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